Horroribles

In regards to Mother’s day this Sunday, May 9th 2010, I present to you  Mother’s Day (1980) directed by Charles Kaufman.

Pinata: Survival Island (2002) directed by David & Scott Hillenbrand

JOON’S HORRORIBLE SCALE:5/10 Hit me over the head

MEMORABLE MOVIE MOMENT: EVERYTHING WAS MEMORABLE

I must admit, when I first saw this (7th grade), I freaked out! It wasn’t the traditional looking pinata, it was a angry totem that was always angry and looking for blood.

With leading stars like American Pies’ Jaime Pressley, the evil pinata had some decent actors, and fed on the primal fear of being hunted.

And yes, it does have the typical oversexed ” co-eds, running around a deserted island with an insatiable killer, but it’s worth to watch when you have nothing better to do.

Evil Toons (1992) directed by Fred Olen Ray

JOON’S HORRORIBLE SCALE: 7/10 This really BUGS me

MEMORABLE MOVIE TAGLINE: “First they undress you, then they posses you!”

Earning a whopping 2.7/10 in the Internet Movie Database, Evil Toons is packed with boobage and necessariness, that’s definitely NOT child friendly. It’s hard to believe that a familiar face like David_Carradine (“Bill” from Quintin Tarantino’s Kill Bill), would be a part of this debauchery! But I

Of course if you believe in the likely hood of four co-eds cleaning an old house will be visited by a mysterious figure ,that delivers a cursed book, that will lead them to be chased by evil cartoon characters…then this might be the Friday night movie for you!

I have truly enjoyed sharing a small snippit, from The World of Horrroribles.

There are soooo much horroribles out there, waiting to be seen! I have both dreaded and enjoyed watching the flix, and writin about it in a weekly blog. I must say that my all time favorite horroribles would have to be The Ginger Dead Man, Shark Attack and Killer Tomatoes.

Passion of The Crust

There seem to be a theme in horrorible movies. They usually exploit Easter, Christmas, and of couse Halloween. But ordinary things (apparantly can also be horrorible), such as condoms and other inanimate objects (as seen on Passion of the Crust.)

As far as other blogs go, I liked Faisal‘s software reviews, Sori‘s cellphone reviews, and Angelica‘s quote analysis.

Good Luck to the class of ENG 384- Writing for Electronic Media, and thanks to Dr. Cripps for helping me out when I panic.

PS. I apologize if the photo above offends anyone. It is not my intention to make you question your faith.

PEACE!,

Joonmarie Roca-Brush

An American Horror film released in 1999 (IMDB,2010), The Blair Witch Project left Americans scared and confused. Earning mixed reviews of “Tense, unsettling, original, intelligent, short, cheap”, the controversial film swept 16 nominations and 11 wins (IMDB, 2010.)

Directors Daniel Myrick and Eduardo Sanchez must have been shocked that their budget of $500,000,  grossed $248,639,099 worldwide (Box Office Mojo, 2010.)

My nine year old self thought that Satan has risen from hell to claim us all, but now I think the ingenious film is a horrorible, that manipulated humanity’s vulnerability with a handheld camera, chicken gizzards and twigs.

***Ps. I have no more MBs for pix and videos, so for more information, please go to www.imbd.com and Boxofficemojo.com

Santa’s Slay (2005) directed by David Steiman

JOON’S HORRORIBLE SCALE: 6/10 Just slay me!

MEMORABLE MOVIE TAGLINE: “Santa’s Spending holiday fear this year!”

If you like Fran Dresher (The Nanny), and WWE Superstar Bill Goldberg, your gonna looooove David Steiman’s “Santa’s Slay.” In this slaying film, Santa Claus is “not really the sweet old fellow that we all know and love.” On the contrary, he’s a devil that made a bet with an angel.This is quality Horrorible! There’s a slay and everything!

You will want to cuddle up with Santa’s Slay during the holidays, when there is nothing to watch, and no where to go. Because “After 1,000 years of playing nice, the bet is up and Santa is about to open a can of holiday whoop-ass!”

Killer Klowns From Outer Space (1988) directed by Stephen Chiodo

JOON’S HORRORIBLE SCALE: 7/10 Bozo never looked better!

MEMORABLE MOVIE TAGLINE: “It’s CRAAAAAZZZZY!”

An excellent movie if you feel like punishing yourself! Thanks to Danielle Parker for introducing me to the endless possibility of space “klowns.”

These bozos will make you want to twist your intestines like a balloon animal, and pin your eyes with a donkey. You can expect your average “disobedient teenagers” (who are probably really over 25 in reality), being outwitted by space klowns.

You’ll die with laughter -.- (sigh)

Attack of The Killer Tomatoes (1978) directed by John De Bello

JOON’S HORRORIBLE SCALE: 6/10 Rotten Tomatoes!

MEMORABLE MOVIE TAGLINE: “Technically sir, tomatoes are fags/He means fruits”

One of my favorite childhood movies, turned out to be a horrorible. Go figure.

“Music, comedy and spoof horror are all combined in this uniquely low-budget attack on conventional horror movies. When a high-level government experiment goes terribly awry a group of giant, mutated tomatoes roll through suburbia on a spree of mayhem and murder.” -YahooMovies

This is another way to get a serving of your daily vegetables >_<

Shark Attack 3 shark horror flick directed by David Worth

JOON’S HORRORIBLE SCALE: 8/10 “The terror has surfaced”

MEMORABLE MOVIE TAGLINE: “If you’d be any closer, you’d be history!”

I wanted to share this clip because I find it to be hilarious. Especially the part where the historic megalodon shark swallowed the raft of people whole and when the guy in the…well…I won’t spoil the fun.
Check it out, I swear it’s well worth it!

“When two determined researchers discover a colossal shark tooth in the warm waters off the Mexican coast, their worst fears come to the surface. The most menacing predator to ever rule th earth is alive and well and ripping helpless victims to shreds! Get ready to discover the only thing more horrofying than hunting for the fiercest killer man has ever known…meeting him face to face (Shark Attack 3, 2002.)
Doesn’t it sound to die for!

Killer Condom (1996) German horror flick directed by Martin Walz

JOON’S HORRORIBLE SCALE: 8/10 NO GLOVE NO LOVE!

MEMORABLE MOVIE TAGLINE: “The Rubber That Rubs You Out!”

I found some other blogs/websites reviewing B-Movies, however, for whatever reason, they comes up as an error on my RSS feed, so I’ll just attach the link here:

B-MOVIE.BLOG

B-HORROR-MOVIES

BAD-HORROR-MOVIES

SINCLAIR-THE-ALCHEMIST

CRACKED.COM

HUMBOLDTONLINE.COM

http://www.chillertv.com/ (courtesy of AHenry2)

Hope You Find Them Helpful!