Mitchell said that this apocalypse was God's prank on the world. I told him April Fool's was over and no one's laughing.
"Don't need to be funny to be a practical joke," he said. I thought practical was a poor choice of words, but he didn't seem to share that opinion. He just shook his head, tossed a bag of chips and a bottle of sprite in my lap, and left me alone.
God. I hate soda.